


My Happy Little Pill

by Slowburnotptrash



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: And also st@lia never dated but maybe had sex, Canon Divergence, F/M, Friends With Benefits, i think???, the point is stiles aint virgin when he is with lydia, this happened after 3b
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-14
Updated: 2017-08-14
Packaged: 2018-12-15 08:51:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,623
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11802669
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Slowburnotptrash/pseuds/Slowburnotptrash
Summary: “That wasn’t part of the deal.”





	My Happy Little Pill

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is written for my baby Fer, @lydiastxles on tumblr. I posted it on tumblr and I wasn't planning on posting it here but My other baby Giulia, @lydias-martin on tumblr, told me that it's worth posting so I did it. 
> 
> I am @slowburnotptrash on tumblr.  
> Fic title from the song "Happy Little Pill" by Troye Sivan.

 

 

“Lydia,” breathlessly her name comes out of his swollen lips before falling back onto his side, the lips that she became _very_ familiar with from all the secret night that they spent together. His lips on hers and their wandering hands searching for warmth. It all started in junior year, after Allison’s death, they had nightmares, countless nightmares that woke both of them screaming, shaking and hands trying to grasp into something, something that isn’t there.

_Sanity and Allison._

And one day in school, she glanced at the empty seat next to her, Stiles for the past 3 weeks never missed a class and that worried her, so as soon as the bell rang, she gathered her books and headed to his house, his dad welcomed her with a warm hug and it startled her at first but seconds later she melted into hug. Afterwards he pulled back and told her with a small smile that Stiles is in his room, she thanked him before climbing the stairs to his room. Opening his bedroom door, she saw him sprawled on his bed, tucked in too many blankets, his loud snores hinted that he is in a deep sleep, she couldn’t help but smile at how peaceful he looked. She walked across the room and sat on the bed, removing her boots before laying next to him, over the blankets with her back towards him and with his breathing, her eyelids fluttered close and she drifted off to sleep. Two minutes later she woke up feeling someone pulling the blankets, trying to cover her then she felt Stiles' warm hands around her waist pulling her closer against his body, his face tucked into her neck, He kept holding her as he fell back to sleep, and soon with a small smile on her face she followed him.

And since that dreading night they both finally slept for more than 4 hours.

After that encounter they started to spend every night together, just them sleeping in the same bed holding each other.

She remembers when she woke up screaming in the middle of night, hands flailing and legs tangled in sheets. Stiles strong arms held her against his chest, her back against his beating heart, as he whispered in her ear that they’re safe and no one was going to hurt them. Gradually, her sobs lessened. She tilted her head backwards against Stiles shoulder, closing her eyes, inhaling and exhaling with him.

“It’s okay,” he repeated, kissing the side of her head, his lips lingering there more than they should. “I am here.”

She turned her body in his hold so they’re face to face, bloodshot eyes meeting teary brown eyes.

“Stiles, can I ask for a favor?” She asked, voice raspy from crying.

“Anything,” he answered with no hint of hesitation.

“Distract me, please make me forget, whenever I close my eyes I see her on the ground bleeding, Just please do something, I trust you with my whole life.” she pleaded, her cheeks stained with tears. Tenderly, her hands caressed his cheeks. “Kiss me and make me forget.”

His breath caught in his throat, his eyes scanning her face to look if there’s any hint of hesitations. “I.. I can hold you as you sleep, it always helped,” he cleared his throat, licking his lips nervously, eyes shifting from her lips to her eyes to only see the desperation in her pleading eyes. “Are you sure?”

She nodded, and at her gesture, he moved his hands from her shoulders to cup the back of her neck. Gently, pulling her in for an embrace, his face tucked into the hollow between her neck and shoulder, he took it as opportunity to lay kisses on her shoulder, Feeling her relax under his touch.

“Stiles, please.”

   He leaned away from the hug to look at her, she looked fragile, sad, and tired.

  “Make me feel something.” And at that, he cupped her cheeks and leaned down to kiss her, kissing her gently and holding her with so much tenderness, scared that if he put more pressure he will break her.

He knows that she is the strongest woman that he ever met, but Lydia deserves gentle and tender and he is willing to put his feeling aside just to make her feel good. 

She pulled back, nudging his nose with hers and with a sweet smile on her face she whispered just for the two of them, “it’s just me, Stiles.” And at that he leaned and captured her lips in his again, kissing her like how he always dreamed of.

Gentle and slow kisses turned into desperate and open mouthed kisses. He grabbed her thighs before shifting their bodies, laying her on his mattress. Kissing her lips, her jaw, her cheeks, her forehead. He spent the night worshiping her, covering her scars with kisses.

He knew this was not about him, it was about trying to make her feels better, so he poured and poured love and affection with each kiss and tender touch against her soft skin.

“Lydia, whenever you want me to stop please tell me,” he muttered against her lips. She nodded before kissing him.

After that night, sex was a way of coping with all the nightmares they get, and it was like a secret deal they never talked about it, it just happens and they let it because they need to feel something other than a lump in a throat and the ghosts of their friends.

But then things changed, they start to kiss and touch each other whenever they’re alone, studying most of the time ends with them having sex. And When they’re sitting at the lunch table and someone comes to them just to say, “I am sorry for you loss.” Their hands meet under the table.

For Stiles, he tries to ignore his feelings when they have sex, his biggest fear is to accidentally blur out I love you as he worshiped her body but for Lydia this wasn’t about love, she doesn’t want to love, every person she loves or care about dies and she doesn’t want that for Stiles.

 

And here she is now, next to him, breathing heavily, avoiding his eyes.

 She fell in love with the boy that she doesn't want to lose and she is scared.

She leaves his bed without a word and heads to the bathroom, on her way she picks up his shirt from the floor and pulls it over her head. Leaving a confused Stiles alone in bed. She tiptoes to the bathroom trying her best to not make a sound so she doesn’t wake the sheriff.

When she closes the bathroom door. She sinks to the ground, head in her hands. She shouldn’t love Stiles, he shouldn’t be the person who makes her feel loved and appreciated, he shouldn’t be the person who will end up dead because of her.

When she comes back she sits on the edge of the bed, her back facing him.

“You okay?” He asks, concerned.

She turns her face to the side to glance at him. “I am okay, I should probably leave.”

“You always stay. Did I do something wrong? Did I make you uncomfortable?”

“No, you didn’t, you never did, I just have to go this time, but I will stay next time.” She leans down, sweetly kissing his lips, she couldn’t help herself but smile in the kiss.

She feels loved, she never felt like this before.

_She is screwed._

“Do you want me to drive you home?” He offers against her lips.  

“No, it’s okay,” she replies as she untangles herself from his hold, then picking up her clothes from the floor to wear them.

When she is done, she walks across the room to his bed, her knees dig into the mattress, as she leans down, giving him one last kiss, feeling him smile against her lips.

 

* * *

 

“You okay?” Scott asks her from his seat.

“Yes,” she lies.

They’re sitting in a coffee shop waiting for the whole pack to arrive. Scott thought that having a pack evening where they sit together and talk about random shit will help them to bond and to know each other better, so Liam suggested that they can have it in the coffee shop and they have been coming here for 3 weeks. And as the weeks passed they got to know Malia, Mason, and Liam better. And Lydia grew fond of them.

“Lydia, you know that I am a werewolf, right?”

“I know, can you just stop it,” she snaps.

“It’s hard to control, it just happens.”

“I am sorry, I am just tired.”

“It’s okay.” He reaches across the table to take her hand in his, Before he adds “You know you can talk to me whenever you want?” He asks softly, looking at her so lovingly.

“I know, thank you.” She gives him a small smile then looks down at her lap.

“Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Scott, I am fine, I just got a lot on my mind but as I said I am fine.”

“Is it about Stiles?” He whispers, carefully.

She looks up at him alarmed. “No, why would you assume that?” She says, before sliding her hand away from his.

“Lydia, I know about you and Stiles, he didn’t tell me but I notice, I notice a lot of things about you two.”

“Can we stop talking about him.”

“Lydia, come on please I want to help.”

“I have to leave.”

 She gathers her things before getting up from her seat, he follows her outside.

“Lydia, please let me help” he yells.

She ignores him and continues walking.

“Allison would want me to help, Allison would want you to be happy.”

She stops, tears leaking from her eyes.

“Don’t use her against me, Scott,” she hisses.

He moves closer to her, hands reaching for her shoulders to comfort her but she step back from him.

“I am so sorry. Lydia, Can we talking about this somewhere private?”

She looks around and see so many people smiling as they stare at them.

“I don’t want to talk.” She starts to walk again.

“Keeping it to yourself will kill you.”

“I don’t care.” she doesn’t stop. _Maybe then I will be with her._

“Lydia” he yells her name. “Please, let me help.”

She stops. And turns to face him, He gives her a sad smile and moves closer to her to gather her in his arms, she doesn’t bull back, she only sinks into his embrace.

“You are hurting, and I know you won’t talk about this to Kira or Malia. if Allison were here, you would tell her but sadly she isn’t so I want you to talk to me.” his voice cracks when he says Allison name.

“Okay.” her voice muffled by his chest.

He pulls away from the hug, and gives her a sweet smile before taking her hand in his, pulling her into the nearest alley.

They lean against the building, standing in silence, he lets her take her time.  

With a deep breath she starts to talk, “we slept together” she looks at him, looking unsure and scared. He looks down back at her nodding and beaming. “I know.”

“More than once.”

“I noticed.”

“And I love him.”

He nods.

“You should tell him before it’s too late.”

“No, I can’t.”

“Why?”

“It’s complicated.”

“Love is complicated, Lydia, it has never been simple.”

“You don’t understand.”

“Then help me understand.” he gently puts his hand on her arm.

“I loved Jackson, he died more than once then left me, I loved Allison and she died, and I cared about Aiden then he died,” she explains, wiping a tear that escaped her eyes. “My dad left me too, everyone leaves, Scott.” She looks directly into his eyes, giving him a sad smile. “Me falling in love wasn’t part of the deal.”

“Here is the thing, Lydia, Stiles would never leave you, and if Stiles died, god forbid, you will be broken and sad like the same way you will be if you were dating him, but you know what worse? You will regret every single moment that you had the chance to say I love you but you didn’t.” He stops to take breath before he softly continues, “and no one ever planned to fall in love, Lydia, loves hurts, it hurts but when you’re with the person that loves you right and loves the shit out of you, it can be the best feeling in the world.”

“Why do you have to be so deep?” She chuckles, leaning her head on his shoulder.

“I want you to be happy, you both deserve happiness,” he sincerely tells her.

She glances at him. “You deserve happiness too, Scott.”

“Got you and the pack, I am happy,” he says kissing the top of her head.

“I am glad that you’re in my life, I need you.”

“I need you too, always did.” 

 

* * *

 

Lydia is in stiles bed  _again_ , her limbs tangled with his. Breathing heavily into his neck, her lips ghosting over his pulse, trailing kisses from his neck to his lips, hands in his hair, pulling him down to capture his lips in hers, in another searing kiss while his hands cups the back of her head, deepening the kiss, Their foreheads touch as he thrust into her.

The urgency to tell him how she feel grew with each gentle touch.

And when he hits the right spot, sending waves of pleasure through her body, she moans his name into his lips, he starts to gently stroke her cheeks and with a final thrust they both come undone, breathing into each other lips, eyes closed.

“I love you,” she cries out, and when she realized what she said she turns her head to avoid his eyes.

She can feel his sharp intake of breath against her cheek. His gentle voice saying her name carefully makes her turn her head to finally meet his soft eyes.

“I love you and it terrifies me, I don’t know how to explain it,” she rambles with her small and shaky voice.

He tucks hair behind her ears and leans down to kiss her after he smiles down at her, the way she rambles reminds him of himself.

“You don’t have to,” he whispers into her lips.

“You deserve to know everything, I should tell you.”

He pulls back to look at her face, his hands stroking her cheeks, his thumb tugging on her bottom lip as his hand slides to cup the back of her neck.

“No, you shouldn’t.” he tells her softly, giving her endearing smile.

“Why?”

“I know you, Lydia. I understand how you’re feeling and Here is the thing–” he takes her hand in his and start to lay kisses on her knuckles–“I am not planning on leaving you, and we have eternity together, we can talk and do whatever you want. I am going to be here and you will tell me everything whenever you’re ready, okay?”

She’s gazing at him memorizing him, getting lost in his soft tone and captivating eyes and the way he softly kisses and strokes her hand.

“I love you.” she smiles, lovingly, showing her dimples.

“I love you too,” he softly say it back, before kissing her forehead, his lips linger there for a while. “Come here.” He wraps his arms around her and holds her tightly against his chest.

“I love you so much,” he mummers again into her hair.

She smiles into his chest before dropping a kiss against his heart. She makes a note to herself to thank Scott in the morning.

 

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you liked it, and I would appreciate it if you left a comment. I just really love getting showered with nice comments.


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